A few months ago my boyfriend and I poured ourselves two beers and opened our laptops. It was time to review the terms of our relationship contract.
Did we want to make changes? As Mark and I went through each category, we agreed to two minor swaps: my Tuesday dog walk for his Saturday one, and having me clean the kitchen counters and him take over the bathtub.
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Here’s what you need to know about those ‘love languages’ everyone talks about
Some people believe that establishing a friendship with your ex is the true sign you’ve moved on from the relationship. It’s not always that simple, though. In the final episode of Season One, Meredith Goldstein explores friendship with exes — including her own — and she talks to Esther Perel about what makes that possible.
Listen here to the Podcast.
Founder of Fierce Grace: Practices of Embodied Wholeness for Women, Kendra Cunov has been studying, facilitating, and (most importantly) practicing Authentic Relating, Embodiment Practices & Deep Intimacy Work for the last fifteen years.In this video, Kendra Cunov discusses the practicality of taking space in relationship. She asks us to consider how we can bring this into our relationship with others and with ourselves. How can we practice taking space as something you can honor in your partner as well as gift them space. Furthermore, she delves into how people have pathologized giving space to men. Men are sometimes labeled as avoidant, told they fear commitment, and generally demonized for their needs around space. Listen carefully as she untangles the beliefs around space and how we can understand it better within ourselves and our partners.
“Good relationships are all about compromise.” “If you want a great relationship, learn to compromise.” “A healthy relationship means compromise.”
Some variation of “compromise more” is probably the most common, universally accepted piece of relationship advice—the idea being that if you learn to meet your partner halfway, you’ll both be happy. But as a relationship and intimacy expert who has been guiding couples for 20 years, I don’t think that advice is actually true. Here’s why:
The result of frequent compromise is that you become accustomed to accommodating your partner’s desires, and in the process, lose track of what you really want. I once worked with a couple, Joanne and Mike.
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As a society, we tend to look at breakups and divorce as a failure. But a relationship ending doesn’t mean it wasn’t successful in some way. Sometimes a fling is ideal for both parties, sometimes a long marriage ending is the only chance for a new beginning, and every relationship teaches you something you didn’t know before.
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Long-term and short-term relationships are obviously different from each other. Some people are the type you’d want to marry; others are good primarily for the sex.
At least, that’s how conventional wisdom goes. But new research out of the University of California, Davis, suggests that — at first — long-term and short-term relationships may look more or less identical.
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People frequently self-sabotage their romantic relationships, without any intention or awareness of doing so. Here are four ways to be fully prepared when love strikes.
1. Grieve: People frequently self-sabotage new relationships by not fully grieving and letting go of past ones. Keep at the top of your mind that a new relationship will not be healthy if you are using it to escape the emotional misery of a divorce or breakup. Allow yourself to fully mourn not only a recent disappointment but also one that may be far in the past, yet still stings.
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Meredith Goldstein, who writes the Boston Globe’s Love Letters column, is an actual professional advice-giver.
For more than nine years, she’s been answering letter writers’ queries about their love lives. In her new memoir, “Can’t Help Myself,” Goldstein turns the focus on herself, illuminating what it’s like to address everyone else’s problems while muddling through her own.
Goldstein reveals her philosophy on offering advice and how she tries to live by the counsel she gives to others. The conversation below has been edited for clarity and length.
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A few years ago, shortly after a close friend of mine went through a breakup with her boyfriend of several years, she began the social-media purge, systematically deleting her Instagram posts and Facebook photos of the two of them together. It was like a virtual wisdom tooth removal, tearing the relationship out by its roots one at a time: “Every time I delete something, it feels like we’ve broken up all over again!” she wailed.
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