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Cohabitation After Divorce: Reasons You Need a Co-Tenancy Agreement

Vicki Shemin wrote a new article about cohabitation and why partners should consider a co-tenancy agreement.

Cohabitation after divorce seems like a great alternative to remarriage, but it’s still important to take steps to protect yourself.

By  Updated: June 21, 2018

Categories: Legal Issues, Relationships and Dating

Cohabitation After Divorce: Reasons You Need a Co-Tenancy Agreement

At the final court hearing in a divorce case, the judge generally pronounces that the divorce agreement is fair and reasonable and then s/he blesses it with an official imprimatur.

In the next sentence, more times than not, I have heard judges then say, “You can remarry in 90 days.” Invariably, the divorcing couple responds with an eye roll as if to say, “That’s the last thing on our minds!”

But, fast forward two years down the road. Time heals a lot of wounds and you may find that you are in a meaningful relationship that lies somewhere between not being ready for remarriage but ready to commit to the relationship.

Read more here.

Helicopter Parenting Causes Behavioral Problems in Children

Children whose parents are over-controlling “helicopter parents” when they are toddlers, are less able to control their emotions and impulses as they get older apparently leading to more problems with school, new research suggests.

The study looked at to what degree mothers of toddlers dominated playtime and showed their child what to do, and then studied how their children behaved over the following eight years, revealing that controlling parenting is linked to a number of problems as a child grows up.

Read more here.

NOTE FROM FIELDS AND DENNIS — FOR SOME RECOMMENDATIONS OF BOOKS AND VIDEOS ABOUT THE PSYCHOLOGICAL ASPECTS OF DIVORCE AND ABOUT PARENTING PLANS, VISIT HERE.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT PSYCHOLOGICAL ASPECTS OF DIVORCE, VISIT HERE.

Contact us if you need a parenting coordinator — Vicki Shemin, Jon Fields, and Sheryl Dennis are certified by the courts to accept cases.

Relationship Contract: To Stay in Love, Sign on the Dotted Line

A few months ago my boyfriend and I poured ourselves two beers and opened our laptops. It was time to review the terms of our relationship contract.

Did we want to make changes? As Mark and I went through each category, we agreed to two minor swaps: my Tuesday dog walk for his Saturday one, and having me clean the kitchen counters and him take over the bathtub.

Read article here.

What Are the 5 Love Languages?

Here’s what you need to know about those ‘love languages’ everyone talks about

If you spend any time around couples, you might have heard the phrase “love language” come up. “Their love language is acts of service,” they might say of their partner when they talk about their partner’s help around the house. It might sound like general couples talk, but it’s actually from a popular relationship book, The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.

Can you be Friends with your Ex?

 

The Friend Zone

Some people believe that establishing a friendship with your ex is the true sign you’ve moved on from the relationship. It’s not always that simple, though. In the final episode of Season One, Meredith Goldstein explores friendship with exes — including her own — and she talks to Esther Perel about what makes that possible.

Listen here to the Podcast.

 

Why “Needing Space” in a Relationship Doesn’t Mean Your Partner wants to Separate

Founder of Fierce Grace: Practices of Embodied Wholeness for Women, Kendra Cunov has been studying, facilitating, and (most importantly) practicing Authentic Relating, Embodiment Practices & Deep Intimacy Work for the last fifteen years.

In this video, Kendra Cunov discusses the practicality of taking space in relationship. She asks us to consider how we can bring this into our relationship with others and with ourselves. How can we practice taking space as something you can honor in your partner as well as gift them space. Furthermore, she delves into how people have pathologized giving space to men. Men are sometimes labeled as avoidant, told they fear commitment, and generally demonized for their needs around space. Listen carefully as she untangles the beliefs around space and how we can understand it better within ourselves and our partners.

 Watch video here.

Turns Out That Compromise Isn’t the Key to a Happy Relationship After All

“Good relationships are all about compromise.” “If you want a great relationship, learn to compromise.” “A healthy relationship means compromise.”

Some variation of “compromise more” is probably the most common, universally accepted piece of relationship advice—the idea being that if you learn to meet your partner halfway, you’ll both be happy. But as a relationship and intimacy expert who has been guiding couples for 20 years, I don’t think that advice is actually true. Here’s why:

1. Compromise can make you lose touch with what matters to you.

The result of frequent compromise is that you become accustomed to accommodating your partner’s desires, and in the process, lose track of what you really want. I once worked with a couple, Joanne and Mike.

Read more here.

Successful Relationships Don’t Necessarily Last Forever

As a society, we tend to look at breakups and divorce as a failure. But a relationship ending doesn’t mean it wasn’t successful in some way. Sometimes a fling is ideal for both parties, sometimes a long marriage ending is the only chance for a new beginning, and every relationship teaches you something you didn’t know before.

Read more here.

Long-term and short-term relationships initially indistinguishable

Long-term and short-term relationships are obviously different from each other. Some people are the type you’d want to marry; others are good primarily for the sex.

At least, that’s how conventional wisdom goes. But new research out of the University of California, Davis, suggests that — at first — long-term and short-term relationships may look more or less identical.

Read more here.

4 Essential Steps to Take Before Your Next Relationship

Jill P. Weber, Ph.D., is the author of Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy—Why Women Settle for One-Sided relationships.

People frequently self-sabotage their romantic relationships, without any intention or awareness of doing so. Here are four ways to be fully prepared when love strikes.

1. Grieve: People frequently self-sabotage new relationships by not fully grieving and letting go of past ones. Keep at the top of your mind that a new relationship will not be healthy if you are using it to escape the emotional misery of a divorce or breakup. Allow yourself to fully mourn not only a recent disappointment but also one that may be far in the past, yet still stings.

Read more here.

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