“Good relationships are all about compromise.” “If you want a great relationship, learn to compromise.” “A healthy relationship means compromise.”
Some variation of “compromise more” is probably the most common, universally accepted piece of relationship advice—the idea being that if you learn to meet your partner halfway, you’ll both be happy. But as a relationship and intimacy expert who has been guiding couples for 20 years, I don’t think that advice is actually true. Here’s why:
1. Compromise can make you lose touch with what matters to you.
The result of frequent compromise is that you become accustomed to accommodating your partner’s desires, and in the process, lose track of what you really want. I once worked with a couple, Joanne and Mike.
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