Marriage | Fields and Dennis LLP

Is Your Marriage Healthy?

I didn’t realize how unhealthy my marriage was. I’d suffered a slow-drip of erosion to my self-esteem for so many years that I couldn’t see how abusive the relationship had become. On top of it, I was too humiliated to confide in anyone, even my family and closest friends, so I had no one to hold up a mirror to show me what my marriage really looked like.

So here I am, holding up a mirror for you. I’ve made a chart of characteristics of an abusive marriage versus a healthy marriage. How am I an expert? Well, aside from being a certified divorce coach, I personally have experienced one of each. If your marriage is healthy (like my second one is, thank GOD!!!), then PLEASE share this with a friend who you think may be in a toxic situation, even if she can’t see it herself. I know you don’t want to insult anyone, but you’ll be doing her a huge favor — maybe even saving her life. I will never forget the friend who saved mine by holding up a similar mirror for me.

Put a Ring on It? Millennial Couples Are in No Hurry

Young adults not only marry and have children later than previous generations, they take more time to get to know each other before tying the knot.

The millennial generation’s breezy approach to sexual intimacy helped give rise to apps like Tinder and made phrases like “hooking up” and “friends with benefits” part of the lexicon.

But when it comes to serious lifelong relationships, new research suggests, millennials proceed with caution.

Five myths about marriage

This piece from John Gottman, co-founder, along with Julie Gottman, of the Gottman Institute is worth reading. Gottman has conducted 40 years of research on marital stability and divorce prediction.

Read article here.

Marriage advice from a top relationship expert

Marriage will inevitably be tear-your-hair-out hard at some points. Psychologist and relationship expert Eli Finkel says there are three ways to strengthen a rocky marriage — and each one requires a different level of time and effort.

Your Best Advice for a Happy Marriage (CC: Meghan and Harry)

It’s almost royal wedding time, and while our colleagues are learning about hat etiquette or jetting off to Britain to crash the festivities, we thought we’d take this opportunity to harness the wisdom of the crowd and ask you, our readers, to share your best marriage advice with us (and Harry and Meghan).

Out of the hundreds of responses, here are some of our favorites, lightly edited for length and clarity.

Say what you need

“If you need something, you must express it. Years ago, recently married, I was discouraged that my husband never offered to help out. A motherly neighbor noticed my funk. I explained, ‘He should know!’

‘They don’t know,’ she said. ‘You’ve got to tell them.’”

— Maura McCaw, Watertown, Mass.

20 Signs the Spark in Your Relationship has Gone – and How to Reignite the Flame

Forget the seven-year itch – the spark actually begins to fade exactly five years and two months into a relationship, a study has found.

Research revealed modern relationships are souring earlier than they used to because life is getting in the way and couples are more likely to take each other for granted sooner than they once did.

The study, which was carried out among 2,000 adults, found a dwindling sex life, sleeping in different rooms and no longer holding hands are among the common signs the magic has gone.

Married Millennials Keep Separate Bank Accounts

Interesting piece about a Millennial habit that the attorneys at Fields and Dennis LLP see quite a bit of in their divorce practices.

Read it here.

Estate Planning and Second Marriages

Maintaining an updated estate plan is an important aspect of financial care. It is especially important to update following a divorce and/or the start of a second marriage. Blended families and new marriages create an interesting problem for will-makers, as they must find a way to honor the new spouse and children without disregarding children from the previous marriage.

This sort of incorporation is a difficult and delicate task, but not impossible with the proper guidance. The key to success is fully understanding the current family dynamics of the client. Family dynamics can shift over time, and so providing grounded advice on how to pass down assets and what estate planning tools work best for the situation is crucial.

A spousal trust tool is one of the most useful tools; it ensures that the surviving spouse will have access to trust assets during their lifetime and that these remaining assets will pass onto the children of the predeceased spouse. This form of trust allows for rollover treatments and graduated rates of taxation. Other estate planning tools could include careful splitting of assets, and the designation of life insurance to children.

At Fields and Dennis LLP, we treat our clients with the utmost respect during the delicate process of estate planning. We are a trusted firm that openly communicates with our clients during this planning process. Please contact us today if you are looking for a trusted and strategic Boston divorce lawyer.For more on estate planning in a second marriage: http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/suzana-popovicmontag/second-family-will_b_8010438.html

The Behavioral Impact of Divorce on Children of High-Income Families

A recent study out of Georgetown University and the University of Chicago looked at the impact of parental separation and divorce on the behavior of children in families of different income brackets.

Using data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth, a survey conducted by the Bureau of Labor Statistics starting in 1979, the study honed in on the reactions that children had to divorce over time. Read more.

Orthodox Judaism and Divorce

The unique circumstances of Jewish law as interpreted by those who practice Orthodox Judaism can make divorce an extremely difficult predicament for women in the religion. For starters, only the husband can grant a divorce with a document called a “get.” While a woman can still seek a legal divorce, without the “get” she is still married in the eyes of her religion, even years after a civil divorce is granted.

Someone unfamiliar with Orthodox Judaism may not understand the gravity of this scenario. Without the husband’s consent to a religious divorce, and without a “get,” an Orthodox Jewish woman cannot remarry or have more children. Without a religious divorce being granted, any remarriage is seen as adultery and can result in her being shunned from her Orthodox community. Read more.

Is Your Marriage Healthy?

Put a Ring on It? Millennial Couples Are in No Hurry

Five myths about marriage

Marriage advice from a top relationship expert

Your Best Advice for a Happy Marriage (CC: Meghan and Harry)

Say what you need

20 Signs the Spark in Your Relationship has Gone – and How to Reignite the Flame

Married Millennials Keep Separate Bank Accounts

Estate Planning and Second Marriages

The Behavioral Impact of Divorce on Children of High-Income Families

Orthodox Judaism and Divorce

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Please Look into our Fledgling Estate Plan (for Millennials)