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A Diamond is Forever, But the Engagement Ring May Be Ne’er

The article below was written by Vicki L. Shemin, J.D., LICSW, ACSW  and published in Citybizlist on January 25, 2021

Lest you think that the proprieties and perplexities surrounding broken engagements are a modern phenomenon, we need only look back to the 15th century.

It is said that in 1477, Archduke Maximillian of Austria commissioned the very first diamond engagement ring on record for his betrothed, Mary of Burgundy, thus setting a penchant for diamond engagement rings among the higher echelons of European society.

With that stage set, the marketing genius of DeBeers was sure to follow. And, nowadays, it seems that engagements have become all about the diamond ring.

But fast forward a bit and then show me an announcement of a broken engagement. The next exclamation is inevitably: “Did she give back the ring?” (Apologies for falling into the typical gender trap.)

Did she? Should she? With some statistics estimating that a quarter of a million engagements do not end in marriage, this is a significant fiscal and sociological question with both legal and moral implications.

As with all things marital, the answer to what a court is likely to do when it comes to “who gets to keep the ring” depends on varying state laws (by which I do not mean to imply that the law is always as clear as a princess cut).

Typically, these cases are analyzed as to whether the intent was to give the ring as a gift, whether the ring was actually given as a gift, and whether the donee accepted the ring as a gift. But wait…there’s more. A conditional promise to marry is also attached. More to the point, the majority of states have taken the view that if the affianced does not perform on the promise to marry, then the ring must be returned as that token was itself the consideration for the promise to say “I do.”

But that analysis would be too simple. Some states – like Massachusetts – take fault into consideration and consider who broke off the engagement. After satisfying that inquiry, the one who broke off the engagement does not get the ring. While that might appear to be an elegantly simple resolution, anyone who knows human nature understands that the person who actually broke off the engagement may well have been provoked to do so, or, may have done so because their louse spouse-not-to-be was really at fault.

But, back to elegantly simple solutions. Consider Montana! That state takes an approach as clear as a gem. The engagement ring is deemed to be an unconditional gift that is kept by the recipient – despite whether the marriage ever happens and despite who pulled the plug on the engagement.

In case you are wondering, is the law more settled when it comes to wedding bands or engagement rings after the marriage? I think not. While some would strenuously argue that wedding rings are marital property subject to division in the event of divorce, others would counterpunch they are completed gifts because any preconditions attached to the gift have been met (i.e., the wedding itself sealed the deal).

Are there any escape clauses? A least two worth noting. First, if an engagement ring is given on a holiday or birthday, some say that the argument is strengthened that the ring was merely a completed gift irrespective of whether the marriage goes forward or not because the ring is less attached to the promise of marriage and relates more to the occasion of the special date on which it was given. So, let that be a cautionary tale for those who are contemplating a Valentine’s Day, Christmas, or New Year’s proposal. Second, if the engagement ring is a family heirloom, this should be a no-brainer dictating that it should be returned to the donor.

So, what’s the law about the propriety of who gets to keep the ring? Indeed, what’s fair in this facet of “all’s fair in love and war”?

Well, as all things in the law, the answer is what law students are taught on their first day of law school: “it depends.”

And, even at that, are we talking about human laws, or, underlying moral codes (as the latter cannot be legislated)?

Vicki L. Shemin, J.D., LICSW, ACSW, a divorce lawyer and clinical social worker, is a partner at Fields and Dennis LLP in Wellesley. She can be reached at 781.489.6776 or VShemin@FieldsDennis.com.

Filed Under: Firm News

Attorney Jonathan E. Fields Quoted in Wall Street Journal

Attorney Jonathan E. Fields was quoted in today’s Wall Street Journal

Millennials Embrace Prenups—but Through a Very Different Lens Than in the Past

Millennials are using prenups to address new economic and social issues—including rising student debt, social-media use and embryo ownership

By Cheryl Winokur Munk
Jan. 21, 2021 1:00 pm ET

Millennials are often known to buck convention. That seems to be true even when it comes to prenuptial agreements.

In the past, prenups were most common among young adults from wealthy families or couples entering second or third marriages. Today, younger adults of all income levels are drafting them, not only to protect assets accumulated before and during marriage but to address societal realities that weren’t necessarily present or common years ago, such as a desire to keep finances separate, student debt, social-media use, embryo ownership and even pet care.

Experts point to the fact that many millennials are children of divorced parents and have had an intimate look at what can happen financially when a marriage dissolves. At the same time, the stigma or taboo that used to be associated with discussing money before marriage is slowly disappearing.

Social media

Jonathan Fields, a family-law attorney and divorce mediator with Fields and Dennis LLP in Wellesley, Mass., says he also is getting requests from younger clients to address social media in prenups to ensure that one spouse can’t write nasty things about the other in the event they break up. He says he tries to discourage such clauses because he’s concerned it could run into First Amendment issues, but if clients insist, he includes it using broad language related to not discussing each other negatively, or to their children, for example.

A typical clause, he says, would prohibit the dissemination—without prior written and/or electronic consent—of information that could disparage or harm the other or the other’s public image. This could cover all media, including photographs, video, blogging, texting, tweeting, tagging, and posting on any social-media site, service or platform, he says.

Read the full article 

Filed Under: Divorce, Firm News, Prenuptial, Social Media

Vicki L. Shemin, J.D., LICSW, ACSW receives the Avvo Clients’ Choice Award Badge for 2021

Vicki L. Shemin, J.D., LICSW, ACSW was presented with Avvo Clients’ Choice Award Badge for 2021. This award is given to attorneys whose outstanding legal services have resulted in highly satisfied clients. There’s nothing that an attorney can do to ask for a Clients’ Choice Award. Instead, Avvo makes the award based only on quality reviews from satisfied clients throughout the year.

 

Filed Under: Divorce and Family Law, Firm News

Attorney Jonathan Fields Quoted in Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly

Snap Judgments: Lawyers predict issue that will dominate legal landscape in 2021

By: Kris Olson December 31, 2020 (From Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly) 

Q. Prediction time: What issue on the horizon will dominate the legal landscape in 2021?

 

“Five hours of time for a five-minute hearing has never seemed so wasteful. With the experience of remote hearings, will the courts realize that, in 2021 and beyond, we cannot go back to the old way of doing things?”
Jonathan E. Fields
Fields & Dennis, Wellesley

 

“In 2021, the COVID-19 vaccine’s impact on the workforce will dominate the legal landscape. Employers will grapple with vaccine resistance, some due to disability, some due to religious beliefs, some due to fear, and some due to deep-seated distrust of governmental vaccination programs ( i.e., the Tuskegee Study). Health officials and employers alike must establish trust through compliance with federal and state public health initiatives and anti-discrimination guidelines.”
Denise I. Murphy, president
Massachusetts Bar Association

 

“Race and criminal justice. Will the police reform legislation emerging on Beacon Hill actually deliver on the promise to make police officers and departments accountable to the public — especially in communities of color? And will the Legislature, the courts and the legal profession step up to meet the challenge presented by the Harvard Law School study, commissioned by Chief Justice Gants, that so vividly documented profound racial inequality in our criminal justice system?”
Martin F. Murphy, president
Boston Bar Association

 

“How the legal system conducts jury trials and deals with the overall backlog are going to be the most pressing legal questions in the coming year. There are hundreds of pending cases, and figuring out how we are going to safely and constitutionally handle them in a post-COVID society is something we are all focused on. We need to make sure that those who have the least are not left behind as we try to rebuild our legal system.”
Anthony J. Benedetti
Committee for Public Counsel Services

 

“Evictions and foreclosures, unless there is an extended moratorium. In anticipation, I’m rewriting §10:2 ‘Foreclosure Defense’ with a subsection on eviction defense, for 28 Mass. Practice: Real Estate Law, of which I’m the current author. As in the 1930s’ Great Depression, we may see mass civil disobedience to block foreclosure auctions and evictions, bankruptcies of residential and commercial landlords, and bank failures. Hunger and desperation may lead to increased crime, especially theft of food.”
Michael Pill
Green, Miles, Lipton, Northampton

 

“Employers will likely face complex and vexing issues on whether to require employees to take the COVID vaccines. So far there are not government requirements, but that may change as the vaccines prove effective. Presently, the issue of mandatory vaccinations raises the issue of ADA strictures as well as Title VII religious issues. The EEOC just issued guidelines yesterday, but not requirements. Stay tuned!”
Andrew P. Botti
McLane Middleton, Woburn

 

“Immigration law dominates the legal landscape in 2021. The incoming administration will be under significant pressure to undo the most harmful policies of the Trump administration. Changes in the immigration courts, asylum laws, green card applications, as well as restoration of DACA and Temporary Protected Status will occupy much of the administration’s first days. The Biden administration faces a gargantuan task, and because of that immigration law will be a continuing hot topic in 2021.”
Susan B. Church
Demissie & Church, Cambridge

 

Filed Under: Divorce and Family Law, Firm News

Please Support Fields and Dennis LLP’s Fundraiser for K9s For Warriors

K9s For Warriors saves both warriors and rescue dogs. The program serves our warriors with service-connected Post-traumatic Stress Disability (PTSD) traumatic brain injury (TBI) and/or military sexual trauma, which can be deadly disorders. A trained rescue dog is paired with a warrior and the two meet for two weeks of training together at one of two facilities for 21 days. Their stay, training and meals are provided at no cost. 

Every 65 minutes a veteran commits suicide. A disturbing and sobering statistic. K9s For Warriors is reducing veteran suicide and helping our warriors return to a life of dignity and independence. Service canines, professionally trained, are a profound alternative for recovery from PTSD and TBI. K9s for Warriors is the largest provider of Service Dogs for disabled American veterans.

To help support the fundraiser please click here.

Filed Under: Firm News Tagged With: Holiday Fundraiser

A Divorce Practitioner’s Bitcoin Primer

As published in the Journal of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

By Richard West and Attorney Jonathan Fields

Filed Under: Bitcoin and Divorce, Cryptocurrencies and Divorce, Cryptocurrency, Firm News

Fields and Dennis LLP Ranked as Top Tier Boston Family Law Firm in Best Lawyers Best Law Firms 2021 Edition

Fields and Dennis LLP is proud to announce that we have been ranked as one of Boston’s Top Tier Family Law Firms in US News & World Report’s Best Lawyers Best Law Firms 2021 Edition. The US News & World Report rankings are based on a rigorous evaluation process and is one of the most trusted and relied upon guides to legal excellence. We are honored to receive this ranking.

Filed Under: Firm News

The Boston Podcast Interviews Jonathan Crafts

David Yaz of The Boston Podcast interviewed Attorney Jonathan Crafts on COVID Crimes and Pandemic Lawyering

Click here to listen: https://podcasts.adorilabs.com/e/covid-crimes-pandemic-lawyering-with-jonathan-crafts?eid=INZdCY3mZsdCkTim

 

Filed Under: Criminal Defense, Firm News

Jonathan E. Fields Selected as a Top 100 Super Lawyer

Fields and Dennis LLP is proud to announce that Jonathan E. Fields, has been selected as a Top 100 Super Lawyer in Massachusetts for his work in Family Law.
Super Lawyers is a rating service of outstanding lawyers from more than 70 practice areas who have attained a high-degree of peer recognition and professional achievement. The patented selection process includes independent research, peer nominations and peer evaluations.
Super Lawyers Magazine features the list and profiles of selected attorneys and is distributed to attorneys in the state or region and the ABA-accredited law school libraries. Super Lawyers is also published as a special section in leading city and regional magazines across the country. Lawyers are selected to a Super Lawyers list in all 50 states and Washington, D.C.
We are also proud to note that Attorneys Vicki L. Shemin and Andrea E. DeLaney were also included as Super Lawyers.
For more information click here. For more about Fields and Dennis LLP Partner Attorney Jonathan E. Fields, please follow this link to his bio.

Filed Under: Divorce, Firm News

Congratulations to Jonathan Fields!

I want to congratulate my partner Jon Fields for his selection as a Top 100 Super Lawyer in Massachusetts for his work in Family Law.

Filed Under: Family Law, Firm News

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Contact Us

Phone: 781.489.6776
Fax: 781.489.6233
80 William Street — Suite 210
Wellesley, MA 02481 USA

Recent Posts

A Diamond is Forever, But the Engagement Ring May Be Ne’er

January 27, 2021

The article below was written by Vicki L. Shemin, J.D., LICSW, ACSW  and published in Citybizlist on January 25, 2021 Lest you think that the proprieties and perplexities surrounding broken engagements are a modern phenomenon, we need only look back to the 15th century. It is said that in 1477, Archduke Maximillian of Austria commissioned […]

Attorney Jonathan E. Fields Quoted in Wall Street Journal

January 21, 2021

Attorney Jonathan E. Fields was quoted in today’s Wall Street Journal Millennials Embrace Prenups—but Through a Very Different Lens Than in the Past Millennials are using prenups to address new economic and social issues—including rising student debt, social-media use and embryo ownership By Cheryl Winokur Munk Jan. 21, 2021 1:00 pm ET Millennials are often […]

Vicki L. Shemin, J.D., LICSW, ACSW receives the Avvo Clients’ Choice Award Badge for 2021

January 14, 2021

Vicki L. Shemin, J.D., LICSW, ACSW was presented with Avvo Clients’ Choice Award Badge for 2021. This award is given to attorneys whose outstanding legal services have resulted in highly satisfied clients. There’s nothing that an attorney can do to ask for a Clients’ Choice Award. Instead, Avvo makes the award based only on quality […]

Attorney Jonathan Fields Quoted in Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly

January 5, 2021

Snap Judgments: Lawyers predict issue that will dominate legal landscape in 2021 By: Kris Olson December 31, 2020 (From Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly)  Q. Prediction time: What issue on the horizon will dominate the legal landscape in 2021?   “Five hours of time for a five-minute hearing has never seemed so wasteful. With the experience of remote hearings, will […]

Please Support Fields and Dennis LLP’s Fundraiser for K9s For Warriors

December 21, 2020

K9s For Warriors saves both warriors and rescue dogs. The program serves our warriors with service-connected Post-traumatic Stress Disability (PTSD) traumatic brain injury (TBI) and/or military sexual trauma, which can be deadly disorders. A trained rescue dog is paired with a warrior and the two meet for two weeks of training together at one of […]

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    Recent Blogs

    • Advice On Cooperative Co-Parenting During & After An Acrimonious Divorce: It will Improve your Mental Health
    • A Diamond is Forever, But the Engagement Ring May Be Ne’er
    • Attorney Jonathan E. Fields featured in Times of London on Prenuptial Agreements and Social Media
    • Attorney Jonathan E. Fields Quoted in Wall Street Journal
    • Vicki L. Shemin, J.D., LICSW, ACSW receives the Avvo Clients’ Choice Award Badge for 2021

    Recent Firm News & Coverage

    • Attorney Jonathan E. Fields Quoted in Wall Street Journal

    • Vicki L. Shemin, J.D., LICSW, ACSW receives the Avvo Clients’ Choice Award Badge for 2021

    • Attorney Jonathan Fields Quoted in Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly

    • Please Support Fields and Dennis LLP’s Fundraiser for K9s For Warriors

    • A Divorce Practitioner’s Bitcoin Primer

    The Boston metro family law, divorce and estate planning attorneys at the law firm of Fields and Dennis LLP are based in the Newton Wellesley area and serve the city of Newton: Auburndale, Chestnut Hill, Newton Centre, Newton Corner, Newton Upper Falls, Newton Lower Falls, Nonantum, Oak Hill, Waban and West Newton and town of Wellesley: Babson Park, Wellesley Hills, Wellesley Square Fields and Dennis also serves many clients in the Greater Boston and Massachusetts region including Ashland, Dover, Holliston, Medfield, Needham, Sherborn, Westwood, and all of Massachusetts.

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