Unless you have Dalai Lama levels of patience and tolerance or hate confrontation, you probably engage in arguments on a fairly regular basis.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing; A 2010 study out of the University of Michigan found that a little arguing here and there can be good for your health, and that avoiding conflict brings on more stress the next day than engaging in an argument.
Still, there’s a right and wrong way to air your grievances and make your point. Below, therapists and communications experts reveal how persuasive people navigate conflict.
1. They recognize that the point of an argument is to gain a better understanding of the other side.
“The goal of an argument is to walk away with a renewed sense of understanding of each others’ needs and working on solutions that benefit both people. People who argue successfully focus on how to solve the problem and tackle the issue, not beat the other person. Arguments should never be a character assassination, or bring someone’s integrity into question.” ― Marissa Nelson, a marriage therapist in Washington, D.C.
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