Interesting letter to the editor of the New York Times from a divorce mediator.
To the Editor:
Re “How Abusive Relationships Take Root” (Health, nytimes.com, May 11):
As a divorce lawyer and a medically trained professional who specializes in psychologically infused mediation as a successful method to help abused women in divorce, I can testify that domestic violence ensnares women of all backgrounds and that psychological abuse and controlling behaviors are often the root cause of many divorces.
I tell my clients that abusers can’t be reformed. Dominance is slow and insidious. Abuse creates self-doubt, weakness, shame and at some point, out of disorientation and fear, a self-imposed prison.
The use of mediation in abusive divorce situations gives strength to the abused, provides a worthy opponent (mediator) for the abuser, and the opportunity to peel back the psychological layers of abuse in a supportive environment, helping the abused gain freedom.
LOIS BRENNER, NEW YORK
The writer is the author of “Getting Your Share,” a divorce book for women.
