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Turns Out That Compromise Isn’t the Key to a Happy Relationship After All

“Good relationships are all about compromise.” “If you want a great relationship, learn to compromise.” “A healthy relationship means compromise.”

Some variation of “compromise more” is probably the most common, universally accepted piece of relationship advice—the idea being that if you learn to meet your partner halfway, you’ll both be happy. But as a relationship and intimacy expert who has been guiding couples for 20 years, I don’t think that advice is actually true. Here’s why:

1. Compromise can make you lose touch with what matters to you.

The result of frequent compromise is that you become accustomed to accommodating your partner’s desires, and in the process, lose track of what you really want. I once worked with a couple, Joanne and Mike.

Read more here.

4 Essential Steps to Take Before Your Next Relationship

Jill P. Weber, Ph.D., is the author of Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy—Why Women Settle for One-Sided relationships.

People frequently self-sabotage their romantic relationships, without any intention or awareness of doing so. Here are four ways to be fully prepared when love strikes.

1. Grieve: People frequently self-sabotage new relationships by not fully grieving and letting go of past ones. Keep at the top of your mind that a new relationship will not be healthy if you are using it to escape the emotional misery of a divorce or breakup. Allow yourself to fully mourn not only a recent disappointment but also one that may be far in the past, yet still stings.

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20 Signs the Spark in Your Relationship has Gone – and How to Reignite the Flame

Forget the seven-year itch – the spark actually begins to fade exactly five years and two months into a relationship, a study has found.

Research revealed modern relationships are souring earlier than they used to because life is getting in the way and couples are more likely to take each other for granted sooner than they once did.

The study, which was carried out among 2,000 adults, found a dwindling sex life, sleeping in different rooms and no longer holding hands are among the common signs the magic has gone.

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You’re teaching your kids these relationship lessons

Nurturing parents may pass along strategies for building and maintaining positive relationships to their kids, setting them up for healthier, less-violent romantic relationships as young adults, according to new research.

Researchers found that when adolescents reported a positive family climate and their parents using more effective parenting strategies—like providing reasons for decisions and refraining from harsh punishments—those adolescents tended to go on to have better relationship problem-solving skills and less-violent romantic relationships as young adults.

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4 Signs You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship

When you’re in a bumpy relationship, at a certain point you become so used to the bumps that it can be hard to spot signs that the relationship has become unhealthy, or even toxic. Part of what makes it difficult to recognize that a relationship has declined into being unacceptable is that all relationships go through difficult times – times when not-so-good days are just part of life.

So how do you know when your relationship has crossed the line from “going through a rough patch” to being unhealthy? To help you decide, consider these 4 criteria:

1. Time spent together leaves you feeling badly about yourself. There are characteristics about yourself that you value – perhaps it’s your generosity, your optimistic nature, or your cooking abilities.

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