Are you having an emotional affair? It’s hard to define, but here’s how to figure it out.

Jacklyn Collier, a 32-year-old actor in New York, remembers the moment she realized she was having an emotional affair.

Four years ago, she was in bed with her then-boyfriend. He was fast asleep, and she was Facebook- chatting with a guy she’d met through friends. At first their correspondence had felt safe, she recalled, just some witty banter. But by this point, they were talking deeply about what they wanted for their lives in terms of career and family — things she and her boyfriend of several years had rarely discussed.

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